Breastfeeding and Judaism, part III: modesty and breastfeeding in shul

Welcome to part III in the Breastfeeding and Judaism series. Click here for part I, introduction and religious roots.

Modesty

For religious Jews, there are also issues of modesty. As with some better-known groups, such as religious Muslims, many Jewish women dress modestly, cover their hair and do not show their bodies in public. This would potentially include not breastfeeding in public, but it may also mean not breastfeeding at home if it’s in front of male relatives (father, father-in-law, brothers and so on) or male friends. 

In addition, Jewish women who exclusively pump or who pump while at work would be concerned about privacy and modesty. Depending on where they live, they may need support in talking to their employers about this.

In an article on breastfeeding, Rabbi Ysoscher Katz writes the following: “There is a fantastic description in the Gemara (Sotah, 30b) of the people of Israel, men and women, reciting the “Song of the Sea” after the amazing miracle of the splitting of the Sea of Reeds. The Gemara says: “How did they recite the “Song of the Sea”? The baby was placed on the knees of his mother and nursed from her breasts. When they saw the Shekhinah, the baby lifted his neck, detached from his mother’s nipple, and said: ‘This is my God and I will adore Him, as it says:  from the mouth of babies and infants you have become fortified with strength.’” Here, in the middle of nursing, a baby removes his mouth from his mother’s breasts and, in close proximity to exposed breasts, recites the song and, in so doing, mentions the name of God when he says, “this is my God and I will adore Him.” Of course, we do not learn halakha from narrative stories, but this nevertheless serves as a complement to the proof that we have already stated: minor and brief nakedness is not considered gilu’i ervah, exposure of nudity, and it is therefore permissible to pray and discuss issues of holiness in the presence of a nursing woman.”

In other words, a religious story shows a baby breastfeeding then referring to God while still at the breast, and this implies a clear connection between breastfeeding and spirituality. More relevantly to this section on modesty, it also suggests that exposing the breast is not necessarily immodest. It is not seen as nakedness in all contexts and some Jewish women will therefore feel able to breastfeeding in front of others.

Breastfeeding in shul

And here was my original sticking-point, the thing that turned me off Judaism for a while: breastfeeding in shul (another word for synagogue). Imagine my surprise when parents from across the Jewish spectrum told me that they breastfed in synagogue without anyone saying a negative word to them. It turns out that my experience was probably due to me being in a slightly more religious synagogue that was in the US, a country that often struggles with breastfeeding in public. Indeed, on that particular trip, I had people constantly telling me to sit in cars to breastfeed (in Chicago in the winter!) or to face the wall or to go to a room by myself, so clearly it wasn’t just the shul. 

Meanwhile, here in the UK, I’ve breastfed in our local synagogue multiple times and even during my older daughter’s Hebrew school classes or festival celebrations, and it’s been absolutely fine.

It’s important to note that the more religious congregations are segregated by gender, so women and children sit upstairs, while the men are downstairs, which means women have no issue latching babies and children on. In more modern and less religious synagogues, people are in mixed-gender areas and this means that they are sometimes a little more hesitant to breastfeed. Many such people recommended speaking to the rabbi or using some sort of cover, but everyone I spoke to noted that there is no actual prohibition against breastfeeding in shul.

Rabbanit Leah Sarna told me that more synagogues are trying to become more breastfeeding-friendly. And Rabbi Ysoscher Katz wrote in an article, “it is not merely permissible to bring young children and nursing babies to the synagogue, it is also a mitzvah.” (A mitzvah is a commandment, but the word can also be understood as a good deed.)

Everyone I spoke to said that breastfeeding should be welcomed in shul and that it could be done discretely/modestly, as preferred by the woman and her particular congregation.